The Flowerpot Site




	*Laxey* posted by larna on Tue 18 May 04 What a super weekend! We were all drinking Sambuca on Sunday to catch up from the weekend! Alan (Rammer) gets far too chuffed with them bottles! He bought two bottles! I only had one shot! minging! I cant believe I went through three bottles of vodka this weekend, and 16 smirnoff ices! Sick! I am sunburnt and am hurting all over. I soooo didn’t want to come to work today! Im off in two weeks! Get that in me. I was having such a good laugh all weekend, I have got bruises all over me. Sparky was being such a nut case! All jumping on peoples tents and everything! Some woman went absolutely nuts so I said the deck of cards phrase to her and said “its only a tent! Its not as if your dead or anything”! Ha ha well gobby. Whats going on? I think im turning into a “chav” AHHHHHHHHH DON’T THINK SO! It all started at about 1pm Saturday afternoon – Fester came and got me in his Dad’s grand cherokee jeep and then we got sausage baps and then went to pick Jonny Tyrer up. He was faffing round getting all his stuff and then we went and got Sparky and Scambler. It was such a good laugh! We got there and set up out tents, didn’t even sleep in them, I got pushed on Festers tent (which looked like a fucking coffin!) and sort of broke that. then we all went round the pubs, to the Queens which was good, I met up with Katie (Cozzie you loonie tune) for a while and met her cool friend Wendy, she is really nice, proper mad! Gandalf was being properly funny, I put a daisy chain on his ears and he kept it on for ages! I had one on aswell, all night! I totally forgot about it! I keep thinking it is still on my head today. Everyone was down there from Southside, everyone apart from The Movie! Didn’t see him anywhere. We all went back to the campsite and Tyrer and Sparky and Fester had built the biggest fire ever known! the police came and had to extinguish it and all that. it was nuts! We made another little one after that and sat up drinking and getting hammered all night! then Jack went to the shop at about 10am and got me a bottle of vodka! I drank it, i was so drunk. Sparky was being so funny, coming out with loads of mad manx slang! Like “get away from that Graham Cryer” (Fire) ha ha ha. Tyrer was nuts aswell. after the tent broke, Nathan whipped me about 20 times with the tent pole thing, so sore! Right on my sunburn! Then he whipped Sanjay and he didn’t even flinch until about ten minutes later! Jack took us home at about 6pm last night, well to my mates house anyway! All the girls and boys were there, just getting full of drink. I was sat on some mad rocking chair and everytime I looked away, some one would push the chair over with me in it. Me and Lou cooked some burgers and chips! We dropped the chips all over the floor! They were frozen so that was fine. We put them in a frying pan – in the oven! Haha. Everyone was well jealous. I was like “youre not getting any of mine!”. I am so hungry today, I swear I could eat a massive fry up or something! Starving! Joined the gym now so got to watch what I eat. well I don’t have much more else to write but if I remember anything else funny, I will get it up on here. Another thing – Buntzen Burner – you are one cool, totally crazy cat. And Roxanne aka Jackie O and Jenni and Andrew – “I love youuuuuu” so much! well funny. Laxey Blues Festival – what a success. Xx The Larnski. xxx send to a friend "Everyone who sends FW's" posted by larna on Tue 20 Apr 04 Hello, my name is Larna. I suffer from the guilt of not forwarding 50 billion f*king chain letters sent to me by people who actually believe that if you send them on, a poor 6-year-old girl in Jurby with a boob on her forehead and an ear growing on her ase will be able to raise enough money to sht? Do you honestly believe that Bill Gates is going to give you, and everyone to whom you send "his" email, £250? How stupid are you ? "Ooooh, looky here! If I scroll down this page and make a wish, I'll get laid by every good looking person in the magazine!" What a load of crp. Maybe the evil chain letter leprechauns will come into my house and sodmize me in my sleep for not continuing a chain that was started by Luke in 5AD and brought to the USA by midget pilgrims on the Mayflower. Fk them! Show a little intelligence and think about what you're actually contributing to by sending out these forwards. Chances are, it's your own unpopularity! The point being? If you get some chain letter that's threatening to leave you shgless or luckless for the rest of your life, f*k it off by deleting it. If it's funny, send it on. Don't pis people off by making them feel guilty about a leper in Botswana with no teeth who has been tied to a dead elephant for 27 years and whose only salvation is the 5 cents per letter he'll receive if you forward this email. Oh, by the way all you idiots out there... NO COMPANY HAS ANY WAY OF TRACKING E-MAIL OUTSIDE THEIR SYSTEM - NO, NOT EVEN MICROSOFT!!! THERE IS NO SUCH TECHNOLOGY - YET!!!!!!. Now copy this and forward it to everyone you know. Otherwise, tomorrow morning your underwear will turn carnivorous and will Consume your genitals. The Larnski. xx send to a friend *Party Monster* posted by larna on Tue 16 Mar 04 i have been labelled a party monster! What a crazy weekend. Nuff said. Has everyone had the fun? I certainly did. Stayed in on Friday despite offers of drinks at the Bridge. I couldn’t miss Sex and the City. No way! I love Smith – and Samantha. Watched a crap film called Wrong Turn aswell, it did my head in all the way through it. the only good thing about it was the fact that Desmond Harrington is in it. man, he is soooo fit. I was doing James head in because I kept pausing the film and just cooing at Desmond. Mmm he is fitter in The Hole though, his hair is all bushy and sexy. Went to bed at about 12am, James went home at about 11.30pm. I got up on Saturday and went to town with my mother, it would have been great but my dad had to go and ruin everything – like normal. So we only had 30 mins in town and it was so rushed it was a waste of time! Then I came home and went to bed. Not for sleep mind you. got ready to go out and was at Coulter’s for 7.30pm. there was me, Nat, Katie, Mini and Coulter (of course!). had a drink there and Mini showed us her “Faith” by George Michael dance. That girl is completely nuts. I couldn’t stop laughing. Ha ha she told me before that she was the last person out of the venue, cos she fell asleep till 4.30am in the back room! unlucky punk! We went to Jonny Tyrer’s before we went out – man, it was so funny, me, Jonny and Mini put music on the pc and had the dining room to ourselves – I put A-Ha on “take on me” and we danced around the room like crazy nymphs! When the “diddly diddly diddly doo” bit came on, we were throwing some crazy shapes! Ha ha. then I decided to sing “Tiny Dancer” for Natalie “wrong fella” – it is her birthday next week so there is her pressie! Ha ha joke. After all the fun and games we went to Breeze – God, it was so empty! We stayed there for about 30 mins. I got four drinks bought for me. get in there. My long-term lover was there too, I stole all his friends and brought them to the venue! it was a waste of time in there aswell, crap. Cant really remember much about that. We got to the party in Peel at about 1am – it was in full swing! Completely insane, I thought there was gonna be a band there, but there wasn’t. just dj’s. it was funny though, seen a few people I havent seen in ages. we had so much drink, it aint healthy! I think I must have fell asleep for a while though cos Ive lost about three hours. Ha ha. once I get comfy, that’s it! I didn’t get home till 1pm Sunday! Till that time though, I had the best laugh ever, my friend Fester was so drunk, we were just taking the piss out of him so much! Ha ha. he was being sooo funny, I couldn’t stop staring at him! when everything went quiet, I shouted "BANG" and after about a minute Fester jumped up and started looking round thinking a bomb had gone off or something. Ha ha. he is so funny. I was missing Mini for all this though cos she would have been in hysterics. “you have no power here – Gandalf the Grey” mwah ha ha ha ha. so - we are deffo doing it again this weekend! So much fun to be had! Its Nat’s meal on Saturday at 1pm so we are all going properly on it all day and night I think. More abuse for my brain! Ha ha, I always get narky when its time to go, I only take the mick though, its funny! I was getting stressed cos I wanted to stay but I wanted more vodka! I eventually found some, me and that blonde guy drank it! I was such a nightmare wasn’t I? Oh my god, how funny, I don’t even care, its all part of growing up. When we got home, I couldn’t get out of the car, I had my legs up over everyone and I had to do what Patsy and Eddy do in Ab Fab, had to fall out onto the floor! My yeti boots are well dirty now! well I think that’s all I can think of for the moment, if I think of anymore funny bits, I will write them down. Ah well everyone, wish me luck! Im off job hunting all week! Im off now till Monday! Get the fuck in there. “show us your growler” ha ha ha. The Larnski. xx send to a friend Brody Dalle... posted by larna on Tue 24 Feb 04 I thought I would have a rant about this today after seeing everyone slagging Brody off on the guestbook. It pissed me off. And she is hardly fucking fat Oogie. She aint a stick insect but good on her! You’d fuck her! Brody is a fucking amazing singer! Yeah she has influences like The Transplants and Rancid and whoever but don’t we all? Just because she is a girl who has a bit of a gravelly voice, people are comparing her to Courtney. She is like Courtney, yes but she is a totally different person! she grew up with Courtney as one of her idols, like some of you did. Since she has met Courtney, she is no longer one of her idols. I mean, I like her as much as the next person but she hasn’t got a very good rep has she. It was Courtney who asked Brody to guest on her album – not the other way round. Have you all heard “America’s Sweetheart”? compare it to Coral Fang. I bet half of you havent even fucking heard it. At the moment, I personally prefer Coral Fang. Courtney has “borrowed” some Beatles, some Wings and some Nirvana. I love “Live Through This”, “Celebrity Skin” and even “Pretty On The Inside” but “America’s Sweetheart” is nowhere near as good as any of them. Anyone heard Melissa Auf Der Mar’s new stuff? Amazing – in a word. I just don’t think Courtney has “got it” anymore! The thing is, a lot of people hate Brody cos she split up with Tim Armstrong – SO WHAT! Marriage break ups happen! There are two sides to every story! Everyone spitting on The Distillers just because their singer happened to split with the singer from Rancid – its not fair! And its fucking pathetic how it has divided the “punk community” – you would think they all had better things to fucking talk about! Brody should just go solo, maybe then she will get the recognition she deserves! If you all read into it, Tim hasn’t said anything bad about Brody, he is gutted, Brody was his “little Brody” “his best friend” so cut her some slack will you guys! And as for Kelly Osbourne, I take back what I said about her, she isnt a nice person, she is a complete jealous fiend! Every opportunity she gets, she slags off Brody as being “Fake” and “a pig” – look in the mirror maybe? Kelly Osbourne is trying TO BE Brody. Hanging with Rancid? Trying to make everyone hate The Distillers? Sad as fuck. Has everyone seen Brody’s tattoo on her arm with the skull and cross bones with the little bow on the forehead? It says “fuck off” round it. well, if Brody is so fake, why the fuck has Kelly had the same skull tattoo etched on each foot? It makes me mad! Nobody is fucking perfect, NOBODY! Not even my mum! Or Courtney Love! Everyone is entitled to their opinion, that was mine. RANT OVER! The Larnski. x send to a friend The Brits posted by larna on Thu 19 Feb 04 So… who watched The Brits the other night? anyone else get bugged by the way ALL the winners thanked the record company the most? The Brits are such an industry type thing, does my head in. still quite enjoyed all the performances though! especially Gwen, Alicia and Missy Elliott’s version of Kiss by the one and only Prince! I love Missy Elliott, she is so talented! When she came on rapping I went all cold! Like you do when you hear a wicked song! Goose bumps! I liked Outkast aswell, I never liked that song when it came out but it has really grown on me! and the skeleton suits – well what can I say? style icon SWTB! They well copied me. ha ha, only joking, their suits were amazing! mine was just quickly thrown together by me! Beyonce was cool, she totally rips off Tina but that’s fine. When she started doing Tina’s dance, I texted Mini and said “hey Min Wa – Beyonce is ripping your dance off! Totally!” but she had already said it to Al. I couldn’t stop laughing cos after Busted won the “best british breakthrough artist”, Mini texted me saying “Bust the fuck off the stage, who invited them anyway” ha ha. I cant believe they did a cover of The Undertones “Teenage Kicks” – they are not worthy of ever covering anything by The Undertones! They ripped the song to shreds! Fuck them anyway. Im pissed off today, have been all week, life is pretty shit when youre totally skint. Keep smiling anyway you beasts. Love yers really. The Larnski. x PS> my yellow converse and my plum converse are here! Foooooooking smart as! PP> More rambles tomorrow - THE BRATS! Brody! Caleb! oooh! send to a friend *Happy Thursday* posted by larna on Thu 29 Jan 04 Happy Thursday you stinking Morgul rats! Ha ha! so, order of the year is the fantastic “Lord of the Rings – Return of the King”! have you all seen it? I have seen it a total of 5 times. I plan to watch it again this weekend with my LOTR partner James. James nephew, Dean (he is like my nephew too), he is madly into it as us, his teacher had to tell Jo, (Dean’s mum) that LOTR was taking over his life so he must stop watching it for the sake of his school work! Poor Dean hasn’t seen it for weeks now! I feel his pain! Arghhhh! For those who haven’t seen it, GO AND WATCH IT! I think my favourite bit is when Aragorn gets off that ship with Legolas and Gimli and all the orcs look as if they are about to laugh at them. then, the army of the dead show themselves and those orcs shit themselves! and when Gandalf rides to help Faramir and crew, when he zaps the white light at the Nazgul! I love it! I cried so many times this time! When that little fly thing comes to Gandalf just before the eagles turn up! Im such a goose! I clapped at the end the first time I seen it! I got far too into it. i cried when Gandalf cried! Gandalf rules. I keep dreaming that I am actually in the film, fighting! last week, I nearly got killed by the witch king! and last night, me and Aragorn and Gimli were fighting with all the uruk-hai! nuts, my imagination is so over-active! I CANT WAIT to see it again. and the extended version is just another story! Also, Anyone else notice Schlof (Goonies) making a return to movies? Hahaha So what is everyone ups to this weekend? Four Day Hombre were amazing last weekend. Such a great band! I hope they remember the little Isle of Man that loves them so much when they get Bon Jovi massive! Nice action boys! What a band. And fucking good stuff to all our bands that played! Slimpig’s new song “Superstitious Politician” is soooo good, I cant wait to see everyone going nuts in a pit to it! and Jacoba! LIQUID – the best song I have ever heard about Oral Sex! “I just want to life up our legs and breathe in! let me in, let me in, let me in, LET ME IN!” stunning. Well, enough about that, does anybody know if there is definitely a Northern Soul night on Saturday? And, go and buy NME or have a little look in it next time your in a newsagent! I am in it with the Queens of Noize! That’s the second time now, first time was with James Skelly from The Coral! They stayed with us for about half an hour at V just having a laugh with the manxies! The Larnski. x send to a friend *Asbestos Liver* posted by larna on Mon 5 Jan \\\'04 I hate January, its my “month of misery”. Ahhh. Anyway kids, Im off the drink for a while, im totally broke, I need to sort my funds out AND sort my liver out. if I took it out and put it on a concrete slab, it would be like a lump of fucking asbestos! Rotten! I had “The Fun” over New Year though! went out dressed as a funky skeleton! I know I wore it on Halowe’en but as you all might have guessed “I don’t give a fuck” (adopts Smoky’s voice from Friday) ha ha. I didn’t have nothing to wear so I wore that. Louisa dressed up as a green fairy! She looked cool! I couldn’t believe the size of her heels though! they were about 5 inches high! I hope everyone enjoyed Offbeast, I did, it was so much fun! Got there at about 8pm, quite a lot of people there already! Me and James went to the bar straight away and got pissed. Then we went and sat with Jenabix, Reubicube, Phil, Colm, Laura & Tom. Said hello to everyone and then we all proceeded to get even more pissed! I had a few “fish calleds” (ha ha wanders) and mooched and schmingled with everyone, then I sat down and watched the fab “Sunday”. Pip’s voice is haunting! I love it! when they played “Eddy, Eddy, Eddy” I nearly died, I love that song. I asked Panda and Wishy to play “Star Dumb” to which they happily obliged. That is one of my all time faves “give me my guitar, and I’ll go far! Cos all I do, is try to get high…I wanna get high, crash into the sky, like Star Dumb yeah…” I still have to get The Wish to teach me how to play it! such a great band, cant wait for their next gig! Wishy was dressed up as a “tart” (as he said), he looked fantastic! He just needed a pair of high heel stillies then he would have been sorted! Once I get my piccies sorted, I’ll get Al to put them on the old site! Just after Sunday played, me old mucka, me old mate John “the boy” turned up with his uber-cool girlfriend, they came all the way from New York City! To Offbeast! Wow! Slimpig you are honoured! I was nicely pissed by the time Slimpig came on, the moshpit was proper bo, I tell thee! Everyone was properly going for it! well done guys, Slimpig rocked your cocks! Fists of Fury smashingly dedicated to me, what a song… “captain insano shows no mercy” yeeeeahhhh! BIG UP TO RHYS!!! Playing with a broken hand, true rock and fucking roll! I had been knocked about everywhere during the mosh, I even got lifted and pushed onto the stage! Crowdsurfing man, its crazy! I had such a fun night, it was brilliant, everyone getting together and getting on and having a little old laugh! Not a “geetar hater” in site! Although a lot of people were wondering who he actually is! I got the minibus back to Douglas with James and Colm. James went to the house of sleaze and me and Colm went to Hooper’s. Hooper had LOTS of drink. We didn’t stay long - company an all that! we just kidnapped Hoops and went to a party at Dowy and Fester’s. it was pretty quiet apparently until we turned up! I think I have this power over Mini (aka Louise) that when she sees me, she gets this urge to destroy and cause chaos! Me and Mini together, crazy combination! Mini was stage diving off coffee tables and we slid down all the stairs (four floors) she was sat on my knee! We werent sliding as good as normal though cos I had my rubber skeleton legs on. Mini is the craziest person I have ever met in my life. Colm thinks she rules. she was chewing up these sweetie mushrooms and sticking them to peoples faces! Poor Ross woke up in the morning with about fifty stuck to his head! I think I had a few tangled up in my hair too! Mini if you’re reading this “naggar dackar thyerr!” ha ha ha ha ha! the party was cool, I got comfy though which is a big NO NO for me cos then I want to go beeps! And go beeps I did! I woke up at 8.30am and I had to walk home. From Derby Square! Unlucky punk. I got so many stares off the early birds! I must have gone beetroot! And from that time, I got in at 9am and slept all day and all night and all day and all night. I was so ill. It was worth it though!!! Happy New Year everyone!!! Xx The Larnski. x send to a friend *BAH! HUMBUG!* posted by larna on Wed 31 Dec \'03 so, did everyone have a "proper Chrimbo"? Mine was pretty cool, quite over-rated though I suppose. if it wasn't for my sister's kids, it would have been crap! I went out on xmas eve, to Bar George (!!!!!?) for ONE drink and then I went to the Rovers. It was good in the Rovers, im not too sure if I like the set up out the back though. I prefer to sit in the little room with the little window to the bar or the pool room. I had a good laugh there with the Faragher family. James was steaming, talking absolute nonsense (although he kept saying “I’ve only had two drinks! – which is a James speciality!!! Even after he has had a bottle of voddie he says that!). left the Rovers soon after I got there cos James was embarrassing me. I went and met the girlies in Strand 58, the first person I spotted was Mini, she was being well funny. Me and her started dancing like all the goths used to in the Tardis (arms straight by the side, pogoing around the dancefloor, bumping into each other etc) t’was fun. The fire alarms kept going off though which was annoying. So, i went for a walk and seen all the boys, Gleave, Jackson etc, also seen some of The Knock’s gang. I miss than band, they were class. I seen Ellis too, he lives in Dublin now, he was looking sexy as ever with the biggest hair I have seen! Cool as. I got a taxi home snidely after I seen them. I was tired! Well, I spent most of xmas day playing Pinball, Dolphin Basketball, Slot Machines (fake coins). These were presents that my sisters kids got. I had “The Fun”! didn’t do much else apart from watch crap TV. I got the Jackass movie too for xmas, I havent seen it before but it is so fucking funny, especially “muscle stimulator” and the golf buggys! So funny, I was crying with laughter. And I am in love with Bam Margera. He is so fucking fit, I just cant believe it! Boxing Day was pretty shit too, I had dinner at my other sisters house, it was nice. both my sisters are pregnant though so they werent getting pissed all over xmas. Think that’s why I was a bit bored! My mad sister Sammi, she is such a hoot when she is steaming! Oogie will vouch for that! Not much else to say about xmas now! but, I am going home now so will write about New Year when I am back on Friday! HAPPY NEW YEAR EVERYONE! Have a great time and I will see most of you at OFFBEAST tonight! The Larnski. x send to a friend *Darkness Ass Slapper* posted by larna on Thu 18 Dec \'03 absolutely buzzing. he he. Hey guys and dolls! I have been properly stoked since Ive been away.. I had an amazing weekend in London. really tops! (last weekend at Hev’s party was a blast but ill be writing about that when im done with this, its taken me two weeks!) I am properly whacked still though. on Friday, my flight was at 10.50am, my mum was picking me up at 9.45am. I was panicking by 9.55am. she didn’t arrive till 10.10am!!! argh! I was going nuts! I thought I was gonna miss the plane! I had to ring BA and make sure that I was alright to get on! the traffic was ruthless! Ah well, I think it was just my nerves about flying. I thought I was going to cry when I sat down in my seat! It was a fine journey though. got to Luton Airport and there was a shuttle bus to the train station. Well, I tell you, someone on that bus had been on the ale the night before cos all the way there, they kept bloody farting! And they properly stunk! Like baby farts! I thought I was going to pass out! fooo000king rotters! I was sooo glad to get off that thing! The train to London Bridge was okay though, I sat on my own and read and took in the sights. I seen the Tower Bridge for the first time & the London Eye (which I didn’t like, looks as if it is gonna fall down at any minute) and I also seen a peculiar “gherkin” shaped building. Don’t know what that was. Everyone was looking at me as if were some sort of freak – I have never seen these sights before so wanted to have a good look! Got to my stop and jumped off, phoned James and then we could see each other – it was like something from a soppy movie – running towards each other – arms wide open – I even threw my bag to the floor! Ha ha! James if youre reading this – youre a moose. It was good to see that screech head! (if any of you don’t know, me and James have been best mates for nearly all of our lives – he is my soul mate). we talked for a minute then went to his to have a cup of James tea and drop my stuff off. Then we went to Charings Cross for a meal at Pizza Hut. It was nice. i had an orange bacardi breezer and James had a bottle of “wife-beater”! (Stella haha). Then we journeyed home. I bought a Micheal Jackson “Moonwalker” Tshirt, smart as fuck. I wore it for The Darkness gig! We had a few drinks at James (well, a bottle of vodka) and then we went to Alexandra Palace for The Strokes. I was so pissed. I remember them playing a cover of The Clash “Clampdown” – amazing, it’s the only cover they have ever done apparently. I also remember a girl coming on and singing with them. They were so good, too cool though! I think Julian has got a bad language problem! Just like mine! Nick Valensi is nimble fingers on that guitar. We had such a good laugh, met some right nutters though who actually thought the WERE The Strokes! All skinny ties and all that! After the gig, me and James managed to blag our way to the party (yeah thanks for the help James, you are officially shit). So many celebs! Oh sweety dahling, what a bunch of schmoozers! We were in there for about 20 minutes. That’s how long it took us to get thrown out. we would have been alright BUT, I went over to Kelly Osbourne and started talking to her (she is so tiny, properly small – Louisa height!), she has got such a nice figure! She looks chubby on the tv but she really isnt! I was talking to her about the gig and shit, she had never heard of the Isle of Man, I didn’t think she would have anyway. She was such a nice girl, she didn’t swear once! She just kept saying “awesome”! she got on with James dead well! Too well because James was absolutely pie eyed steaming, we drank a litre bottle of vodka before the gig, he was jumping on Kelly as if he had known her for years – and guess what, James licked her face!!! She went “ewww gross!” but she laughed, this next bit was so fucking funny, all these security guys – or should I say – beefcakes, came and grabbed James! Properly star fished him out of the party! I had his camera, taking pics of it, I couldn’t stop laughing! I was gutted though cos I wanted to party and meet The Strokes! Ah well, had a wicked night anyway! We went and got the bus then to Camden where we met up with Louise Doyle (aka Mini) and Allan (her boyf). We wandered round for a bit, searching for somewhere to go. Lou was being well funny, she kept doing the Tina Turner dance, properly funny. We ended up in Kings Cross at some mad club, cost a tenner to get in and £6 a drink! Fuming. Had such a good laugh though, me and Louise hijacked the bongos that were there, so funny. She was on the big set and then I had a go, the fella saw that I could play, he gave me a big one that has a strap round your neck and then goes in between your legs! Well funny, I had such a good laugh, cant even remember getting back to James. James said me and Lou looked like Nemo the Fish. Ha ha. I reckon Allan looked more like Billy the Fish than Billy! We were all hammered at James, ended up having a proper session. They left at 12.30pm Saturday afternoon. I went to bed. Gutted cos I wanted to go shopping. Ah well, we had the fun! Lou said I was doing the “hand jive” like everyone in Grease. Oh dear! So, when I got up at 7.30pm, I got dressed and cleaned up then we headed for the mini cab place where we got a taxi to Brixton academy to see The Darkness. So many people! I tell you, it was one of the best gigs ive ever been to. Justin Hawkins is a fantastic frontman. He got changed four times!!! Dan was leg cocking all over the stage, Frankie just looked cool as fuck and Ed was just going nuts on the drums. The crowd were fantastic, we were all singing “we will, we will rock you!” and doing that hand clap thing, Justin told everyone that he didn’t want any lawsuits but everyone just carried on! and – when he walked through the crowd during “Love on the Rocks - with no Ice” I must have ran through about ten people (I was on the phone to my mate Joppo at the time – he loves The Darkness) and I slapped Justin’s bum! He turned round, laughed then winked at me and said “cheeky”! like something out of a Carry On film! Brilliant gig it was, I think they must do the exact same show everytime they play cos most of what was said and done on that TV homecoming gig was done at Brixton on Saturday! When they started doing the opening chords for “Christmas Time (don’t let the bells end), a Children’s Choir came out! the one from the video! and the “snow” was just the icing on the big fat Christmas cake! Amazing! I bought myself a Darkness belt! They were superb. Highly recommend going to see them to everyone. Ive had two tickets for last Thursday’s gig in Liverpool but couldnt go and I am devastated! My mate Billy said he went and when Justin went through the crowd, someone grabbed his balls! When he got back on the stage, he was “wincing” ha ha and he said “thanks to whoever did that!”. Oh what a weekend I had. I didn’t drink that night everyone, I know its hard to believe but I physically couldn’t drink. Cos of the night/morning before! Argh! Ah well, we got a train home and got some chips. Then we tortured ourselves and watched ITV2 till 4am – re-runs of pop idol. Oh how sad, its fooking shit. I was so glad to be getting home though, London is one crazy place!!! The Larnski. x send to a friend **Fcking Work!*** posted by larna on Mon 8 Dec \'03 I GO NUTS! a number of things have pissed me off today. 1) someone keeps leaving the blue milk open in the kitchen at work. (i have questioned the whole office about this - nobody will admit it so everytime i go and get a cup of tea, i open a new pint of blue milk. they will stop it eventually. i know it.) 2) someone keeps changing my dates to a weird format on the invoice numbers file. (again, nobody will admit it, they know i am going to go nuts and ask them "have you got nothing else better to do? shows how fcking busy you are!") 3) someone keeps taking my cup. (now, my cup says "i love shagging" on it - this is for a reason - SO NOBODY WILL USE IT! COS THEY WILL BE EMBARRASSED!) argh! MOAN! send to a friend Anarchy in the UK* part 2! posted by larna on Thu 4 Dec \'03 Roiiight you ‘orrible lot! Ha ha! only joking my faithful friends! I am a tad too giddy this afternoon because… as some of you may know, I am going to watch The Strokes tomorrow night with support from British Sea Power! Im a bit gutted though cos I thought the Kings of Leon were supporting! Argh! Ah well, chance to see another band an all that. Firstly, im meeting up with James, then were gonna go shopping for a bit, then were gonna go to his and put my stuff there and get ready for the night. Were meeting up with Mark from the Bluetones before the gig which should be really cool. Them photos on the Triskel Promotions website are brilliant! The one of me and Mark is class! Nice one Lenny! I need a copy! I think im on nearly all of the “liggers” ones! Ha ha! ah well, its all fun and games in the world of entertainment aint it! I cant wait to see The Strokes though, aint seen them since Reading ‘02. the new album is brilliant so the songs will be even better live! Don’t know if its gonna be late one though – mind you - fuck it, im on holiday. Prob go to the Barfly in Camden after the gig, that is unless we go to the afterparty! Ha ha! blaggers central you know the score! I think the Queens of Noize are djing, was good last time I went to that. I was impressed cos they played “nine to five” by the fabulous Dolly Parton! Got everyone dancing I tell thee! I shall be staying in bed till midday on Saturday! Going shopping again and then ill be getting my strength up for partying with The Darkness! Wooo! Give me a “D” give me an “ARKNESS!” excellent! I shall report the going’s on on Monday! Take care everyone! Have a fab weekend! Xx The Larnski. x send to a friend *Doyleingham Palace* posted by larna on Thu 27 Nov \'03 Good day ladies and genitals! How the devil is everyone? I am fine, it is Tuesday and I have Monday Blues. Didn’t have them yesterday, I was buzzing yesterday but I think the weekend is catching up with me! tired sire! Shall I fill you in about last weekend? Yeah why not eh? On Thursday night I met up with Oogie and Dean (Adams – of The Scope) at the Lounge, for the “Lounge Lizards” night. It was a popular night I tell thee. Had Otty from Rotten Planet doing his live P.A. thing with the two laptops and mixing desks and stuff, I don’t understand all that but it sounded very good! Then Christian aka Dreamfish came on and played some of The Scope’s new material, I enjoyed that! He also mixed a few songs and sampled bits here and there, the one I liked was the start of “Walking after Midnight” mixed with something else! It was proper Bo! He also sampled the Superman theme tune! I liked it and so did Oogie! Dean only played a few indie tracks, introduced us to someone called “The Simple Kid”, I liked the track that he played but I cant remember what it was called! I had fun chatting to Dean and catching up but then I had to go home, I was tired and my scooter was outside getting cold. So, I went home. Friday night was fun. I had been invited to “Doyleingham Palace” for the screening of “PIN”. We had a little buffet of mini pizza, mini sausages, mini sausage rolls, mini party eggs, mini EVERYTHING! Maybe because it was Mini’s flat! Ha ha! big up to yer Mini. Anyway, me, The Head and Brogan got there and what I didn’t know was that if you don’t hold the door when you walk in, it slams, VERY loud. Oops. My first telling off of the evening by the Minster. Well, 5 minutes later, there is a knock at the door. Kelly answers it and its their neighbour downstairs. Well what a prick he was. Banging on the door, moaning about the constant noise! We had only just got there! Then he whinged about the washing machine being on late, Kelly said to him that they had forgot about it, simple mistake. Then, the Welsh wanker said “well can you try and tip-toe round the flat cos I can hear everything” and that was when Mini went out. I thought she was going to kill him. I was stood there pissing myself and she was just staring at him like a wild bull. He started raging again (I was dying to go out there and tell him to fuck off right back to Wales - no offence to the Welsh, I love the way they speak but this man was a right smunt) so, Mini said “excuse me, but you don’t hear me coming down the stairs to your flat at 4am in the morning to scream at you to turn the telly down, infact, while im on one, I don’t come knocking when your loud hurricane snoring keeps us all awake at night” so the man laughs. Big mistake. Mini raged at him and he just kept on being a prick about the washing machine. To finish the argument off, this is all Mini said “well, to keep your highness happy, I’ll go downstairs and give that naughty washing machine a good spanking.” And then she shut the door. IN YOUR FACE YOU WANKER! We were all on edge after that though, talking dead quiet, not moving, etc. although Mini told me off loads of times for banging my feet. Ha ha. sorry. Funny though. The screening of “PIN” took place at 9pm. it was just as I’d remembered it, freaky. We all put our heads together at the end of it to devise a plan to give it to my Bro. Ha ha. I have got the best idea going for the presentation but I need an old wheelchair! (cos PIN is in a wheelchair). ive got this glass head thing in my room (which i have had to take out since the screening of PIN), im gonna get it a latex mask and some blondish hair, stuff a suit full of paper/whatever. then my bro’s girl is gonna let me in the house on xmas day when hes at my sisters, im gonna put my PIN at the top of the stairs with the video in his hands. ahhh ahhh haa. Good girls. Had a few drinks this night too, they were making me do impressions of people so I had go home. Im not a performing monkey! Got home slightly pissed and fell asleep on the couch with the dog till 4.30am – fuming. Shit sleep, I hate it when that happens!!! I will write more this affy when I come back from lunch! The Larnski. x send to a friend *The Bluetones* posted by larna on Thu 20 Nov \'03 Well good day everyone. It is Thursday today so im kind of expecting some rage today! I have a pension scheme proposal to do for 30 people! Nice. im glad I didn’t have to do it yesterday! i felt like shit. I bet you’re all wondering what went on Tuesday night for me to have a raging hangover yesterday – The Bluetones were playing at the Venue. support from “Lux”. I absolutely adore The Bluetones, they were the second ever band I saw when I was 16. At Manchester Academy and I was blown away. I remember the cover that they did, it was called “Pretty Ballerina” – it was stunning. I have seen them 9 times now and I love them just as much. me and Lemsip got to the venue pretty early, watched The Tones soundcheck and just had a few drinks. They were sounding as hot as ever, Mark has even been playing guitar on most of the tracks! He never used to! I was worrying that not many people were gonna come but there was no need to worry – it was packed! Brilliant atmosphere! They kicked off their set with a song from the latest album called “Liquid Lips”. I don’t think many people new it? It’s a song about an ex anyway, “Ugly hyena, you misdemeanour, reveals a truth beneath your veneer. Filthy quisling, empty changeling, not quite as lily white as you once appeared. Are you aware of what you’re doing? Do you even care just who you’re screwing? Back-stabber, money grabber, you want to grind my bones, to climb a ladder. Insipid, and weak with it, but I mistook you for a kindred spirit.” That’s the first verse so you kinda get the picture! This was followed on by one of my personal faves “Carn’t be Trusted” – this got the crowd going a bit loopy! It got even worse when they played “Marblehead Johnson”! everyone was going nuts! Me, Lemmy, and Dan had our own little moshpit going! Ha ha! Marie was taking photies! Oooh it were proper Bo! When I finished my drink, I think Mark seen that I was desperate for a drink but didn’t want to leave the front, he gave me his bottle of water! Buzzing. I filled it with vodka later on though! Marie – I know, im a sad bitch! Love it though! I cant be bothered typing about each individual song so heres the setlist: - LIQUID LIPS CARN’T BE TRUSTED MARBLEHEAD JOHNSON I LOVE THE CITY 4 DAY WEEKEND CUT SOME RUG ONE SPEED GEERBOX FAST BOY BLUETONIC YOU’RE NO FUN A PARTING GESTURE PERSUASION NEVER GOIN… ARE YOU BLUE OR ARE YOU BLIND They came on for an encore and did “Slight Return” – I thought they wouldn’t play that cos of early overkill (they hardly ever used to play it when I went to watch them! I told them this later and that’s what they said! Kind of like Nirvana and Smells like Teen Spirit). And they did one of their newish songs, I cant remember the name, I was slightly pissed at the end! Oh it was so good, I really cant describe it properly! They also did a wonderful cover of New Order’s “Blue Monday” which made me nearly wet myself, I love that song at the best of times and once I heard the opening chords, I knew it. they played it so well! At the end of the song, I sang “cant get you out of my head” and Mark and Adam laughed, that’s when they said I could have the setlist! Woooo! Ive got it here right on my desk for everyone to see! I think people who hadnt really heard much of their stuff were pleasantly surprised on Tuesday? – Marie being one of them! They were rockier than she thought. Ha ha, Marie I was buzzing when you turned up, im so glad you stayed out, we had so much fun! How cool were the band please? apart from Scott who went to bed! Booorrrring! Only messin, bet he was knackered after the tour! We went to the empress after the gig and Mark (the singer) sat me next to him - he even got me a chair to sit on! he asked if he could have my isle of man patch from my jacket! it was so funny! In return he gave me a… badge with a pair of tits on it! he was taking the piss out of me cos i sound scouse! So I was taking the piss out of him for being a cockney! “facking rotta” ha ha! proper funny. we were talking about The Strokes and at the same time we both said "oh im going to see them on Dec 5th!" and we both laughed! he said we should meet up and he give me the name and directions to this bar called the lazy lounge – how cool hey? Going to watch The Strokes with The Bluetones? Wow. fucking love it. we sat and sipped Brandy till 4am, I was so tired. Danny from Stinging with Bigness was there, being his usual crazy self. He started playing the piano in the Empress bar! Ha ha. I really did have such an amazing night, thanks Mark, Eds, Adam and Scott! Yous rock! Long live The Bluetones! send to a friend *Pleasureland* posted by larna on Mon Nov '03 Good moaning ladies and genitals!!! Well, I had quite a “tame” one actually! Saying tame, I was hammered on Friday night, big up to Lemsip for organising the Acoustic “TrafficJam” Birthday, and playing brilliantly like normal, such a pro! I didn’t see that many people but I heard it was amazing. it was far too packed in the traf, I was getting claustrophobic! Miss Christy D! I wish I had your style girlfriend, stunning. and Roxy! Wow! I could see yer on the TV screen! Yay!!! I was with the crazier than crazy Sarah Coulter for most of the night, we went to Bling Bling to show the fabulous Christian Clague some support on his “Return of the Bling” – and plus – he was gonna play Thriller for me – White Wedding by my Billy! It was so good in the Yacht Club, such a friendly atmosphere. Im so glad no knobheads go there! So much fun, and to top it all off, someone I love very much was there, we even had snogsies! Ahhh I love that guy. Im so glad Bling was a success, its about time good things started to happen for my good friend Mr. Clague. Well done you. We went to the venue after that, it was funny as, me and Coulter were swinging round the poles! Ha ha! not in a seductive way like the fannies in Breeze, we were swinging round them like in “Singing in the Rain” when he swings round the lamp-posts! Ha ha! we were going so fast, I fell over and cut and bruised my knees! AGAIN! we went to our mate Robin’s afterwards, I fell asleep as soon as we got there (after a nice cup of tea!) I woke up at 6am, I was so pissed off with myself. All the boys were going to Liverpool for our other friend Alex’s birthday – Alex was panned out, nobody could wake him! And, to top it all off - Walter was saying “Larna are you coming to Liverpool?” I was like “not a chance” and then I went and got a taxi home to bed! Slept all day till 5pm. stayed in all weekend after that! Watched the “Rain Man” – such a good film, Dustin Hoffman is an amazing actor, his expression doesn’t change throughout the whole film! Had a nice day on Sunday, did my sister’s shopping for her cos she was cooking me dinner and I plaited my nieces “Miah” hair. She loved it – I was flavour of the day – the best Auntie in the world. Get in there. Ha ha. did anyone watch that thing last night – “Adult at 14 – Pleasureland”? it had Tinhead from Brookie in. my God, it was shocking! 14 years old and giving head, having sex, having anal sex, smoking, drinking and taking ecstasy! And doing Lap Dances for drug dealers! I tell yer what, I didn’t even know what a blow job was when I was 14!! Kids today eh? My God that makes me sound old. I don’t care, maybe im being a prude but it was so shocking, I am gonna be putting chastity belts on my niece’s when they are older! And im gonna have spies watching their every move! I had the odd drink when I was 14 but all that was so bad last night! I am a firm believer of waiting till your 16 to have sex! And with the right person! Someone that you love! That’s what I did anyway! And I was with that guy for 4 years! We waited 6 months till I was 16!!! Ah well, enough ranting, im going for my dinner in a minute, and you know what, im gonna buy the new extended version of Lord of the Rings 2 now! and im gonna watch it tonight, tomorrow night and the next night! Until I get bored of it! have a great Monday everyone! Oh yeah and I nearly crashed yesterday! Into the car in front of me! some wanker had parked in a illegal spot by Bray Hill! Argh! I nearly got road rage!!! The Larnski. x send to a friend Last Night... She Said... posted by larna on Fri Nov '03 ...oh baby dont feel so down, cos it turns me off... I got pissed last night. My head hurts a tiny bit still, I think I just need a power nap. Went to the lounge for some funky beats from Missy B and Christiepops Cleague, sort of a warm up for tonight really! I only stayed with Oogie for an hour! Then we went to Havanas. Chiaroscura and Purged were playing in there. Proper rock! All twiddly guitar effects – I love it, it gives my ears this weird sensation but I love it! loads of people were out cos it was Beavis’ birthday. Everyone was just getting loose – apart from Beav himself cos he is on crutches! Happy birthday Beav anyway mate. It is a shame that some of the guys had to start acting like wankers though and spraying beer and flicking fags everywhere! I made my feelings known though! we went to Starnd 58 after that, bit of a “rock” night on in there – if you could call it that. Tiernan – he is so funny, I kept making him slap some girls ass, she kept laughing and hitting him but she was loving it really! he is a glutton for punishment though cos he kept on doing it! Some guy clocked me telling Tiernan to slap the girls right, he was laughing but on the way out, he slapped my ass so hard – I ran after him down the street, caught him and smacked his ass harder than he slapped mine! Ha ha ‘ave it! I got a lift home soon after that with the delightful Miss Louisa. Got home and my scooter had been blown into the bush! Gutted, its got a little scratch on it! (only I would notice it though!!!) I picked it up this morning and rode it to work, everyone keeps going outside to look at it! ha ha! they all want to sit on it but nobody, and I mean nobody is allowed to. its minessss. Listen everyone, im doing a competition, I want everyone to think of an excellent name for my scooter, bearing in mind, he is a he. I will buy the competition winner a double of their favourite liquor. It will be judged next Friday just in time for Suspect Package, Tate & Chiaroscura at the legion. Okay lets ‘ave it! see you all at the acoustic birthday bash tonight!!! The Larnski. x send to a friend *Belt Snapper* posted by larna on Wed Nov '03 phwooar! ha! Good afternoon Pacman People! (ha ha, new word I have stolen off a certain Mr. Ed!) I have just a had nice wander through town with the most gorgeous girlie ever, yes, that’s right, Miss Penis Envy – Lorabix! Looking stunning as ever lady! :o) we went to black and blue, had a natter with Smiler and Reubicube and then we walked back through. On the way we seen a certain high cheekboned sex God (im getting far too excited even writing about him – I cant say his name, I am incapable!) – he tells me I’m to “leave my bedroom window open for him tonight” – great! He is such a flirt but I love it, its great. Lora will know what im going on about wont you Bix – “snapped belt” ha ha, his name can be “belt-snapper”! this afternoon has gone so quick, ive had my tea break and got a new tone for my phone, I got the ghostbusters theme. Woo yeah arr harr. Tonight, I am going to see Matrix Revolutions, anyone seen it yet? Im really looking forward to it. (not as much as LOTR Return of the King though!). I cant wait to get home though, just to get my scooter and go out! have a nice evening you crazy cats! The Larnski. x send to a friend Not Funny!!! posted by larna on Mon Nov '03 not funny! Good morning to all of you! i have a MAJOR case of Monday blues. i am tired and some foo000ker has stolen my new phone (and 20 dollar out of my sky rocket!) I feel naked without it. if anyone knows who has robbed it, tell me and I will show you all how to seriously fooo000k someones head up. that is two brand new phones in three weeks! fuming! i had a good weekend apart from that, i stayed in and dyed my hair on friday night with The Head. i dyed her hair too, it looks amazing, i am so proud of it! then we went for a few pcs (prom cruises) and then home. i had a nice day on Saturday, i drove my beloved scooter to town and i went for three cups of tea in Strand 58. I was so happy cos everytime someone told me to get a real drink, I would say “I cant, im driving” woooo! I have been dying to say that for years! In Strand, there was this fit guy stood by the bar, he looked like Nick Valensi from The Strokes (but without the square chin), I could have stayed in there and stared at him all day, he even gave me a little smile when I walked out! when I was walking through town, everyone I saw, I showed them a picture of my scooter, I am so proud, it rules! Saturday night was cool too, I went to the Lounge with my gorgeous friend Edd (he had just had his hair done and it looks fab!) we stayed in there for a while and then we went to watch the stunning Jimi Tinkler in O’Donnells. He is such a talented man, I know I rant on about him all the time but that is totally because I am in complete awe of him! He played one of my favourites for me, a song that is featured on the London’s Calling cd called “Photographs”. It is such a beautiful song, makes me feel all warm inside! I don’t really remember leaving there but I turned up in the Venue and danced my ass off with my wonderful cousin Simon “Rag” haha. It was good fun! After the venners, my friend Gid picked us up and we went to a party underneath Switched On, Halsall and Gleave came too, it was so funny, I was so pissed though, Gid took me home at about 5am, I slept till 4.30pm! I cant believe I felt so rough! I think these mad nights are finally taking their toll on me! I swear, my liver must be like a lump of Asbestos!!! Ergh! I really dread to think what my insides are like! Rotten! So what did everyone else get up to then? Leave me a little message on my message board! Thanks Alan for that!!! Oh and for everyone who needs to get hold of me, send me an email “shewhocantbetamed@hotmail.com” and I will send you my house number. I am going to get a new phone AGAIN sometime this week. Also, don’t forget next week! Tuesday 18th! The fandabidozi Bluetones are playing at the venue! get your asses down there and show some support!!! Happy Monday Everyone!!! The Larnski. send to a friend

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